pemsylvania:

welcome to my crib sorry it’s a little small i’ve had it since I was a baby

(Source: pemsylvania, via fake-mermaid)

suluboo:

relationship tip #78: ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ are cliche and outdated. try a fun new nickname such as ‘lieutenant’ instead 

(Source: ofelrond, via fake-mermaid)

alamatomb:

Did you know that you can drink lava? But only once

(via fake-mermaid)

s23522aa32yah:

college should be $25

(via fake-mermaid)

gelatins:

by day i am just a regular loser, by night i am the same loser only it’s nighttime

(via fake-mermaid)

folk-punk:

dentist: *shoots you* you’re bleeding b/c you dont floss

(via fake-mermaid)

guy:

my mating call is the sound of my microwave beeping

(Source: guy, via fake-mermaid)

radboysehun:

im ok w spending $40 on food but wont buy a $40 shirt

(via fake-mermaid)

homosaxual:

funimationentertainment:

what if doorbells went dong ding instead of ding dong

don’t say something like that

(via fake-mermaid)